Showing posts with label scam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scam. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

18in4 is BULLSHIT!!!

You hear me? 18in4 is a scam, a total scam, an utterly vapid attempt to shill people out of their hard earned cash in exchange for false promises and a physical impossibility.

The guy that runs 18in4 is apparently having some success because the mother fucker's ads are showing up on my blag!!!

Let me break down the sheer physical impossibility of this feat:

The Task: Lose 18 lbs of body mass
The Time: 96 hours

Now a guy my size burns roughly 2500 calories per day just to maintain my weight. Over 4 days that adds up to 10,000 calories or a little UNDER 3 pounds of fat even if I ate absolutely nothing.

If you wanted to kill (legitimately) 18 pounds of fat, which is far better to do over the course of a few months instead of days, you would need to burn a NET of 63,000 calories. In 96 hours. That's a freaky ass 656.25 calories PER HOUR for the entire duration assuming no food and no sleep.

For reference during the course of the Gigacalorie project I have burned on average 710 calories per DAY as of day 73 (which incidentally is today) and this has lead to a net weight loss of about 13 pounds.

In order to burn the full 18 lbs you would literally have to be on the treadmill at jogging pace for 96 hours with no food and no sleep and i can't even imagine the collateral damage to your joints, liver, kidneys and sanity by the end of such an evil (though grandiose) plan.

Allow me to reiterate. The 18in4 DIET PLAN IS A PIECE OF SHIT SCAM AND YOU ARE A GULLIBLE ASSHOLE if you fall for it. Yes it's only about 20 bucks but for fuck's sake KEEP YOUR CASH.

But let's consider what would happen if you wanted to lose such an amount of weight in such a short amount of time. While I doubt you could hit the full 18lbs you could probably reasonably burn 3-4 with serious effort and a very limited caloric intake. We're still talking 5 hours of exercise per day or a serious bout of high altitude hiking but that's doable. You could subtract some pounds by lowering the amount of water in your system though that's not safe or really productive (water is weight but it's not something to try and live without.)

All in all the thing to remember about any sort of weight loss endeavor is this: slower pace that you can manage and maintain is always better than a crash diet followed by a rapid weight gain. Progress that lasts is REAL progress and gimmicks that strip away a few pounds in a short amount of time will always revert back to your old self (or worse) unless proper care is taken to maintain your losses.

Don't waste your money on this 18in4 bullshit, get a month of gym membership and make a real change in your life instead.

Or buy a tapeworm.

****************Update***************

I did some more digging and wasn't able to find a full break down of the plan but I was able to infer some interesting stuff.

Now I mentioned water as a way to shed some pounds (to no lasting effect) but I neglected to consider FECES as a possible source of neutral poundage as well.

Apparently this is leaning towards one of those detoxifying plans that makes you flush out your intestines and the several pounds of fecal matter contained herein.

So in essence the plan is telling you that by emptying your septic tank you now produce less shit. Brilliant.



Saturday, March 21, 2009

Galactica is dead, Cathy should be.

Point 1: An ejaculation (not the fun kind)

All I will say is this: FUCKING ANGELS THAT IS THE GREAT BIG CYLON SECRET WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL THESE YEARS!?!?!

I am crushed by the christpunching finale. Yet I found myself tickled shortly thereafter and it momentarily distracted me from epic let down.

Point 2: A Condemnation

Cathy's Teeth Whitening Success is a scam. Let me reiterate that. It's a flim-flammin' con job. Allow me to articulate how I came to this conclusion (other than subcon lighting up the skeptical parts of my brain and allocating omega-level neural bandwidth to the task.)

I saw this ad for "Cathy's Teeth Whitening" and knew it was a scam, it had to be. All the symptoms were there but I wanted to put forth some proof positive. I glimpsed at the page in question for about 2.3 nanoseconds before noticing that 'Cathy' was from Charlotte. . .

Well dayum if that ain't where I live right now, hurka durka dur dur.

Geolocation is nothing new so I decided to run a little experiment to see if Cathy, by some coincidence, really was from my my current state and city of residence or if it was all part of the psychological trap.

If you're reading this post you can already infer the results. Here's a screen cap of the original page view from my home computer:


And when I checked out the exact same link from one of our computers (In a HIGHLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION) I got a slightly different result.

Now it's a pretty long drive to Chesapeake, VA from Charlotte so it is impressive that she was able to move so quickly from my home town to the purely coincidental location that I checked the link from the next time.

Apparently Cathy needs to be selling her secret of:
  1. Omnipresence
  2. Teleportation

So whatever she's selling you, don't fucking buy it. Trust me if there was an easy way to 'combine two products' for instant teeth whitening success someone would have posted it online for free by now.

Stop feeding these filthy parasites and they will go away and die. I'm looking at YOU middle america.