Post 30 - Just means that I am slow.

Earlier today the ever-present lady love of my life was rereading some of her bible, specifically genesis, and found herself amazed by some of the claims set out therein. Remember, the bible is the word of god and therefore, though scribed by men, reflects the words, thoughts and intentions of the creator of the universe.

It is nice that mankind has had a constant reminder of our perfect creation and that simple facts, taken in context, have bolstered and reinforced scientific discovery of the means, places and mechanisms set out during our creation.

One can only wonder though, has the original story stood the test of time or should we take a closer look at some of the details. I know, I know. The devil is in the details. But so is the truth, is it not?

Now I looked at 5 or 6 different translations of the bible at the free site (link) and they were too varied and cryptic to compare next to one another. Now I don't want to pick one and then take crap for getting the wrong translation (technically it shouldn't matter but I split literary hairs much thinner than some of the publishers) so I decided to go with a list from these guys.

Here's a synopsis by action and day. I have added comments as to the possibility of this order with the current set of physics [my comments are bracketed, the parentheses are from the original list]

Day One

1. Watery, formless planet Earth suspended in the darkness and void of space (no stars, no sun, no moon, no planets - except for Earth). [This is obviously a typo with no stars and other cosmic features earth would be a cold dead lump of ice. Since earth contains elements heavier than Iron there had to have been at least one supernova before its creation. There's no other way to create super heavy elements without some catastrophic action occurring before hand. This explanation is also inconsistent with the Heliocentric model of the solar system.]
   
2. Light. [One will have to wonder where the light came from since the Sun, moon and stars are days away. Taken literally it's not so hard to imagine but the common 'oh a day back then could have been a million years' argument makes this seem like an awfully long time to be holding a lamp.]
   
3. Separation of light from the darkness - and the first indication that the planet is rotating (day and night cycle produced). [The planet rotates, that's fine. But why not just create the sun first to make things easier? If I was going to build a car in my garage I wouldn't wait for 3 days to turn the light on. Even using a temporary flashlight/glowstick/lamp would be clunky and inefficient. Oh well, Day one is over with.]

Day Two

4. Formation of Earth's atmosphere, separating the water into two parts:
   (a) oceanic and subterranean water
   (b) atmospheric water. [I would like to call Shenanigans here because there are a few details left out. 'Atmospheric water' is never mentioned in any translation of the bible I have been able to find. Most editions allude to...well here's the King James Version: "6And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

   7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so." Now one has to beg the question. I just checked my physic's book and found no mention of 'firmament.' In fact I had to check wikipedia just to come up with some interesting answers. I will let you judge them.

As I see it this verse only goes to show how the world works. There is the flat, solid overturned bowl of the earth sitting between two great layers of water. One is above the earth and the other is supporting the world from below. Need I only invoke the words 'gravity' and 'outer space' to convey the correct view. The earth closely resembles a sphere with bumps and valleys that rock and sway to the tune of isostasy and tectonic motion. Also the sky is not a layer of water, even atmospheric water it's air with evaporating water in it. Let's move on.]

Day Three

5. Dry land and oceans. [Fair enough. Spade work on a very large scale could accomplish this. It's odd that there's no mention of the world being a single landmass before breaking up and drifting out into our modern continents.]
   
6. System to water the entire land surface using subterranean waters (involving springs or mist, or both). [Oh everywhere on Earth gets water. I guess this place doesn't count for much. No biggie.]
   
7. Vegetation, seed-bearing plants, trees that bear fruit. [Here's another example of where the bible doesn't quite shine. Without animals, insects and symbiotic relationships these plants are going to have a shitty time trying to reproduce. If the seven day account is true then that's ok. But if it isn't then god must've taken care of all that pollination. Either that or all the animal and insect species evolved on their own from single-celled creatures. No wait, there's no mention of evolution in the bible so god must have taken care of it.]
   
8. Garden of Eden (probably). [And where did that end up? Oh right, it got smooshed in the
   flood way later.]
   

Day Four

9. Sun [Bout time! Now god can relax his flashlight hand. I bet his thumb smarted a good bit after so much time. At least now, with a sun, we can justify having a planet out in the middle of nowhere without a universe to pester it.]
   
10. Moon - complete with established orbit so as to mark passage of time (months, seasons, and years). [Nice touch, god. Throw in a little reflector action so night time isn't such a hassle for the plants. It should be noted that nearly every translation does not say the sun and the moon but rather the 'greater light to rule the day and a lesser light to rule the night' That stinks. Moonlight is really starlight. Must be another typo right?]
    
11. Stars and other planets. [Genesis 1:16 is about as far as I can usually get into the bible before I have to put it down out of principle. To spend this amount of time and then dismissively mention 'he created the stars also' is like writing a book on one skin cell and how it was put together and then casually mentioning that there are six billion other people out there. No big deal though right, this is how the universe came to being.]

Day Five

12. Water creatures of all kinds. (All that had “the breath of life” were vegetarian.) [Well I hope this includes algae and plankton or a WHOLE lot of fish are going to be pretty hungry. I wonder why there's no mention of the horrific freakishly weird critters that live in the deep dark of the ocean (also in my nightmares) What's weird to me is that terrestrial plants (dry land) all bear weird similarity to sea plants. Stranger still the fossil record and DNA evidence suggest that life came out of the ocean onto land and not vice versa. Typo?]
    
13. Birds (all vegetarian).

Day Six

14. Land animals (all vegetarian): (a) creatures that move close to the ground (small animals), (b) large animals, and (c) animals of use to man as livestock. [We've finally managed to get close to some consistency with natural observation. Land animals did come AFTER sea critters. However I am fairly certain that some fishes had figured out that eating their neighbors works just as well as a survival strategy. I mean there are flesh eating microbes. Come to think of it the emphasis on vegetarian life is a little weird. Oh well, could just be a typo. Spell check much, god?]
    
15. Man. [No comments]
    
16. Woman (saving the best for last?). [Ah now we come to my favorite part of the bible. God is done and now it is up to people to get busy with the babies. It does seem a little gross that Seth and Cain have to get busy with their sisters but hey. That is out of scope for this post.]
    

So as we can see it is so easy to forget that the bible is one hundred percent accurate and contradiction free. However, and I know I'm just being difficult and proud here, there are a few questions I have that make me wonder if a couple parts got skipped or shuffled around.

Consider cosmic background radiation. Even the coldest deepest darkest corner of space is about 3 degrees kelvin. Pesky scientists would say that's just residual radiation from the big bang. Maybe. Or maybe god flicked a giant cosmic booger into the great attractor just to be funny.

Earth is round. Why not just make mention of this simple and obvious fact? If you sculpted a world hanging in the void of space and intended it to rotate your options for shape are a little limited. Round or...well round is about all you get. Earth would have been much more interesting as a ringworld but oh well. Maybe next time.

I really worry about that line 'he created the stars also' because there are an awful lot of stars. IN the milky way alone there are hundreds of billions. Our galaxy is not unique either, there are billions if not trillions of galaxies out there. I cannot convey the scope and scale of the universe. No one can. It's like our brain only evolved to suit life on a single planet that would never discover our true place in the cosmos. No wait! I mean its like our brain was designed to only comprehend life on earth and nowhere else ever.

Lastly the whole Adam before Eve thing just makes me wonder. See dudes have a Y chromosome which is basically a retarded X chromosome. See our reproductive gear is much simpler since we don't gestate babies we just spam out the Y's. You'd think that would imply that females would come first and then men would be derived from them but that's not what the bible says so I must be wrong.

I hope at least one person found some enlightenment from this post. I would also like to provide shout outs to Biblegateway and Christian Answers

It has been fun but now I must go. If anyone manages to read this and likes or dislikes feel free to comment as you will.

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Every day is a good day to be an atheist...except the day you die.

I feel like I got pwnt at the Y today, and not just because I overdid it in the pool. I overheard some folks talking about their Atheist son and 'what to do' with him because of all the trouble his disbelief was causing.

Being the asshole that I am (hey I can admit fault every now and again) I stuck my big fat nose out and said 'Why don't you just let him believe what he wants and see if he stays an Atheist or comes back around.'

You always know its a bad sign when the three guys having a conversation are all bigger than you and they stop talking all at once.

"Because I don't want him to die and go to hell before he comes to his senses!" Replied the boy's father, a 40+ dude in a decent suit.

Shame, shame on me! I was hoping to be that random person that turned a bunch of angry thoughts into a more contemplative tone. Boy did my judgement fail! If I had a picture of those guys (not keen on the camera in the lockerroom...so much hair...bleh!) I'd have to slap the ol' DO NOT WANT caption on it.

Granted I can sympathize with other parents when it comes to a limited number of issues. As the midget continues to grow that list will only grow longer. But it got me thinking about how I would feel if Alex came up to me at some point in high school and said 'Dad, I have done my research and concluded that I believe in scientology'

I would not take something like that lightly. In fact if my 40 year old self is much like my current, soon to be 26 year old self then I can already imagine the unruly tearing dilemma I will face at such a moment. Do I get angry, do I say 'well that's fine by me' or do I just burst out laughing that it was scientology out of all things.

One wonders.

However, and this is partially inspired by watching the Golden Compass last night, I am beginning to find my urge to smite stupidity and weirdness strangely waning. Although I write about it more than ever the actual intrinsic feeling just doesn't match what it once was. Perhaps this is a symptom of age but I wonder if it's a discovery of the limits of my concern.

After all while I do not believe in a lot of the strange, hokey and sometimes just downright retarded beliefs (homeopathic medicine, that means you!) I don't automatically hate on people for having them.

I guess what I really hate is when people limit the freedom of others to believe in what they want. And I say that meaning full well that everyone has the right to talk shit about beliefs of their own and others. Some times this will lead to feelings getting hurt but I would really love to see the way when someone in public could make a statement and it would be socially acceptable for a perfect stranger to say 'prove it, bitch!' And then passersby could join in the discussion.

I get chills just thinking about it.

Malevolent Design

Yes mate you've struck a rich vein of cynical consternation. And yet for all the discomfort caused by the truth distortion I begin to turn my scowl into a wicked little grin.

A revelation has come along sliver by tiny sliver into a cloud of one-dimensional razors. Here it is in short form. The longer version will follow suit later.

Even though I submit that Intelligent Design is undoubtedly false and arrogant beyond measure there are people that will leave this earth with their last thought being 'oh goodie, now i get to go to heaven and see my lord...'

That's when their brain shuts down and they get nothing. Or, to be optimistic and pull straight from the fat teat o' knowledge via Kurt Vonnegut it might be purple and there might be a hum. Hmm.

Before this turns into another tirade, unfocused and unkempt I will submit two simple tidbits.

First: Every one has been to a funeral or found out that someone died and felt like shit because words just don't suffice sometimes. It is very sad and on a day like that an Atheist really doesn't have a lot of comforting things to say. (In case there is any doubt never use the term 'worm food' at a funeral, jesus christ)

But so what. Every other day of your life the Atheist has more reason to be hopeful than the believer. Even though no one is watching, and no punishment or reward is to be had once we doff this mortal coil I submit that every day lived for this life is better than a lifetime just dragging your feet through life thinking about the great big ice cream van in the sky.

Second: Intelligence is a really tricky word. According to wikipedia...

Intelligence is a property of the mind that encompasses many related abilities, such as the capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learn. There are several ways to define intelligence. In some cases, intelligence may include traits such as creativity, personality, character, knowledge, or wisdom. However, some psychologists prefer not to include these traits in the definition of intelligence.

Lots of words and the exact means and mechanism remains more or less clear to everyone if the definition isn't just a little hazy. I'll use a simple reduction to simply put that an entity possessing intelligence has the ability to analyze and process information in some format(s) that results in probable gains for that entity.

Simple, clunky, like a rollar skate with a severed foot still in it. Intelligence does not at any point require anything like human consciousness. It is hard to believe or accept but the part of our brain that we consider 'us' isn't really the most important. Think of a novice programmer sitting at a grossly over powered computer cluster. The system executes commands with infinitely greater speed and reliability than the human programmer and yet without those inputs the server cannot process much of anything. Consciousness is the hapless nerd, the rest of the brain is the super cluster.

Now in order for intelligence to make any sort of 'design' it has to carry some benefit or there is no gain and therefore no reason to waste energy on it. So there must be a reason not only for the design itself but the results of it as well. For example you can't design a perfect car that's 6 feet wide to drive on 3 foot wide roads.

Since ID relates to biological evolution we'll stick to that as our yard stick and we'll consider the pre-life universe as the 'road' onto which our 'cars' will be built. Certainly the cars themselves will be important as well as the features but so will the roads. And so will the road maker. THAT is where I hope to direct the most visceral of my arguments. For the road and the car function together and not in isolation.

And that interaction, as well as the individual features of both components, and their functions as whole entities is what I will shed my light upon.

And when I do...well, you'll just have to find out.

Ben Stein...you sad sad man...

How many times have I seen a tiny vial of eye drops and thought...'wow' in that Ben Steinish voice.

More than I care to remember. And I remember the days when Jimmy Kimmel was just a stooge hanging out on Ben Stein's barstool. It was an excellent show, no doubt, but the current contest is not so amusing.

Expelled the movie. What a disheartening venture. A while back I watched a trailer and it struck me as being really awesome because it looked like an honest-to-the-flying-spaghetti-monster truthful look at the purported debate between ID and Evolutionary Theory. *I capitalize ID only to distinguish it from id*

But no. No no no no no. Having updated the trailer one can only wonder what has happened to the man calling roll in Ferris Bueller's day off. He is now apparently an ID proponent. Shame on you, Ben Stein. Shame on you!!

Setting aside my deep seated hatred for the slithery wiles of insinuative religious bullshit just for a moment I would like to make a simple comment. Free speech is awesome, I love it to death and I can't see myself living in an America without it. Your opinion is yours to keep or share or whatever you choose to do with it and that is fine by me.

Science, on the other hand, does not look kindly on 'free' speech. Opinion does not have any effect whatsoever on the speed of light through a vacuum. It does not alter the planck constant nor diminish the grasp of universal gravitation. Science doesn't give a flying fuck what you think unless you can test your theory and make predictions based upon it.

Further setting aside the mounting rage that threatens my blood vessels into flirting with spectacular rupture I concede that evolution is not law. Darwin was not a prophet. DNA is not the new gospel. Moreover there are more holes in the fossil record then there are craters on the moon. (That may or may not be true, FYI)

Ha! You might say. I have fallen victim to my own incomplete theory and there is no other alternative than some dipshit intelligence that spun life into existence. I admit nothing to this except that given the choice between random chaotic evolutionary forces hammering out the ecosystem we see today and some mystical dogooder that actually had the nerve to DESIGN the world this way I would choose the one with better evidence, not with more appealing arguments.

Many creationists are quick to throw out 'Darwin recanted' Guess what? He probably did not and even if he did who gives a shit!? Not me.

I don't care if after publishing 'The Origin of Species' Darwin changed his tune and said that finches were extra-dimensional beings who traveled through time destroying the critters that they did not like. It wouldn't matter a bit.

The idea itself is what comes into question. The modern theory of evolution is not simple natural selection as Darwin observed. It kills me to see how much progress biology has made since 1859.

I also admit freely that Natural selection is not enough to explain the origin of life, the perseverance of weird critters and the genetic diversity that we see in modern life. Luckily in the 148 intervening years between 1859 and 2007 science has come a long way.

There are a number of key features about the theory some are more important to people than others but none are so important, for me, as the genetic similarity that we see between creatures of similar origins. Case in point: Humans look, act and seem very similar to our closest relatives: the great apes.

We do not derive from any modern animal stock but it is easy to see how we could have shared a common ancestor. Naturally things have changed for us, but they have also changed for our primate cousins. Now this raises some interesting questions.

If evolution is a reasonable theory then similar animals would have similar DNA. We can make this point reasonable because if a single species branches into two groups then each of those groups will continue to move apart from each other. Bigger genetic differences imply longer seperation, more mutations and less chance of interbreeding.

Now if all life was designed by an external intelligence why the hell would he/she/it (hereafter referred to as 'shit') design it with such similarity between similar species. If we do not share our ancestry with the great apes WHY THE FUCK DO WE SHARE SIMILAR DNA!?!?!

Is that not enough to make you scratch your head and wonder. What possible reason is there for this deception? What sort of creator would purposefully do such a thing?

Think about it. And then consider, just for kicks, that the great apes have 48 chromosomes. Humans have 46. Whew, that was cloes. Different chromosomes, different species right? ID says that there's not continuity between species and never has nor ever will be. Good thing right?

Wrong. For the explanation just click here.

Tricky eh? The trial that Dr. Miller is referring to related to a school district fighting ID in the classroom. Specifically they were ripping on the science teachers having to read a statement that evolution is 'only a theory' and not the only one out there.

Yikes.

Well they lost, a victory for reason. Here's the problem as I see it. Religious types will kindly ignore previous examples of the church smashing on controversial scientific ideas such as a heliocentric solar system, spherical earth theory and the age of the earth being a few orders of magnitude older than claimed by so called young earth creationists.

Ask anyone if the earth is flat, revolves around the sun or is suspended in celestial aether and you will probably get a laugh and a resounding no. The earth is demonstrably round, the sun demonstrably the relative center of our solar system and radioactive dating methods such as potassium-argon (read more about the process here) prove that the earth itself is billions of years old.

More importantly if you look up at night, with the naked eye, you can see stars that are older than the supposed age of the earth. That is, if you can see the stars from your house. Since the figure fluctuates with new discoveries I'll just say that we presume the universe is older than 10 billion years. I've heard everywhere from 8-15 so I try to be vague.

I have no doubt that the universe is old as balls. True I don't know the exact number of years. I couldn't possibly. We may never have an estimate of the universe's age to within even a thousand years. I personally would be impressed if we could could nail it to within a million (considering the scale of the time needed to evolve a universe) Does that mean we throw out the notion of the age of the universe and demand that only She/He/IT knows?

No! That would be retarded. We don't chuck a good theory because it has loose ends. If we did science would not accomplish much of anything. Then where would we be?

Here's where things get tricky. I agree that science should challenge the status quo. If it did not challenge the status quo then it couldn't function. The very means by which science is accomplished is antithetical to human thinking.

I agree that potential ideas should not be discarded solely because they resist our current understanding. However, ID is not rejected so wholeheartedly by scientists and teachers and people with functioning brains because of moral, political or spiritual conflicts. It is so vehemently rejected because it IS NOT SCIENCE.

Oh but they have biologists and physicists to agree with them. True enough. But contrary to popular myth lone scientists rarely accomplish much of anything. It certainly appears that they have in the past see Einstein, Newton, Galileo and all the big heavy hitters of their respective eras but these men had contemporaries and a knowledge base built from the past up until their lifetime.

Strength in modern science does not derive from loners who have labratories up in dark shady places it happens in teams. You think Intel or IBM freelances chip design out to single people? They don't. You think individuals can manufacture nanoscale equipment? Well guess what, they can't.

I love science, odds are overwhelming that most people that enjoy it are alive today because of it in part or in whole. Now just because something butts heads with the status quo doesn't mean its a valid theory. Belief in anything supernatural will never be scientific BECAUSE if it is not a natural or observable process it cannot be tested, duplicated or verified independently.

Sorry ID, you lose right there. People's insistence that we give credence to nonsensical beliefs simply due to their popularity is not now and will never be anything approaching scientific.

Obviously science does not operate in a vacuum. Most of the research that's being done on planet earth is either to further or create something with tangible economic games. Never mind the benefits to society brought about by computers they sell like hotcakes in the developed world.

Once again I realize how big a piece I have bitten off and only managed to nibble around the edges. Here I will drop a nuke towards the core of the matter. ID is no better than creationism in terms of its usefulness to humanity. Granted it's a little different but it is no better at explaining the nature of the world.

ID serves no useful purpose. It is not testable. What is the criteria for what constitutes design versus happenstance? Species are not clear cut. Life is mutable. Genes are not the sole influence upon the world. People are animals and subject to the same forces, chemicals and weaknesses as any other animal. Culture-bearing creatures or not we are fucking primates!!

What more does it take people? Now I would hope no one makes a decision based solely on an emotional plea for one side or another. Therefore, non-existant readers, I intend to take a stand against this bullshit. And I shall now make this claim that my first, perhaps only, work of non-fiction will be a condemnation of Intelligent Design.

I retain the hope that Ben Stein is just using this movie to lure people in and then blind side them with an opposing message. This I hope, but we shall see.

Time just rolls on...

Over a month has passed but I doubt that I have offended anyone in my absence. Once I get a few things smoothed out I will try and post something with some more substance. In the meantime consider this...

NO THIS!!!

Splash damage (and other video game terms I wish cropped up more in casual conversation)

After 27 and perhaps a half uneventful laps this morning at yonder YMCA a tiny movement altered the course of my whole day. I was just doing a little backstroke when a lateral movement of my right arm caused something dreadful to happen.

It pops out sometimes, my shoulder I mean, right out of the socket. Ever since that night at the young life camp in Saranac where I tripped onto a root and my clavicle let go of my humerus and scapula it has happened every so often. Hell that phenomenon has been a major obstacle towards getting back into swimming for the better part of a decade.

Finally, this iteration, it happened. Dear god it hurts like hell when it does. Just think of splitting a chicken wing into the drumette and two-bone sections. Then imagine that is your arm at the biggest point of articulation.

As if swimming doesn't wreak enough havoc on the rest of me! Now I know its zero impact but there are plenty of ways for the pool to hurt you. Lets consider a few.

Muscle fatigue is the combination of lactic acid buildup, micro tears and all the usual goodies that come with psychotic quantities of aerobic exercise. Its like having a three dimensional sunburn all the way down to the bones. Sometimes I can almost feel where the ligaments meet with bone tissue starting to peel and fray.

Then there's the irritation issue. Sure being totally stripped of all the oil in your body comes in handy, cuts down on deodorant costs and leads to wicked awesome hair effects but it comes with a price. I always feel stuffy and snotty at the same time. Way back when it was so bad at times that I would just leak mucous all day from my nose. There's a great feeling! Its like snorting a pureed jellyfish and then slowly drizzling it out for 9 hours.

My feet feel like stress balls ringed with sandpaper. Part of that is due to the scum I no doubt pick up from walking around barefoot on the perpetual christian wetness that is the ymca locker room floor.

Huzzah though, its working at least. While my physique remains somewhere well within the boundaries of endomorphic masculinity at least, after so long, there is finally hope again.

Now on the topic of physical health and sanitation (in my case tri-weekly chemical sterilization) I have to expound. My time between service orders today and more significantly last night has dwelt heavily on a few major points.

Meth Mouth: Holy.....Crap....It.....Is......Gross.

Intellectual Honesty: I wonder, and I hate that I cannot even breach this discussion without eyes rolling away. But why do we segment what we treat with skepticism and what we treat with faith?

I know I know, change the record man. But I don't want to change the record. I just want some homogeneity when it comes to how people process information. I mean it is SO OBVIOUS how 'ID' people are lying and obscuring the truth (as best we know it) to suit their ridiculous agendas. I hate it. I hate it because it muddies the waters. Granted its certainly not as idiotic at the hydroplate theory. I mean you'd have to be pretty FN dumb. Just look at the site, its totally retarded.

And I intend to smack them around for being douche bags.

God Billboards...suspiciously non-canonical.

What follows is a textual list of the 'God speaks' billboard advert campaign. You can find the original images scattered around your highways and interstates or at this website. The caveat is if you want to see the images you have to click the link below. And to do that...

Click here and you admit that the traditional idea of god is washed up and unforgivable.

Ha, I am cruel. But in this case I believe that scorn and anger are wholly justified. These people are lunatics. Read the list, each line is a different sign.

Let’s meet at My house Sunday, before the game.
C’mon over and bring the kids.
What part of “Thou shalt not…” didn’t you understand?
We need to talk.
Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer.
Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.
That “Love Thy Neighbor” thing…I meant that.
I love you…I love you…I love you.
Will the road you’re on get you to My place?
Follow me.
Need directions?
You think it’s hot here?
Tell the kids I love them.
Need a marriage counselor? I’m available.
Have you read my #1 best seller? (There will be a test.)
Do you have any idea where you’re going?
Big Bang Theory, you’ve got to be kidding.
My way is the highway.

I was tempted to go through and snipe each inane and intellectually ugly little comment. But I held back unlike with my church marquee blitz a while back. (on the old blog, if i can find it i'll repost)

Well the bill board bible blasters bave been bat bit bagain band but bout bthis bew bist bof bayings.

I love you…Te amo…(Asian characters, presumably meaning I love you. More likely they just mean Kung Pao Chicken...mmmm, yummy)
As my apprentice, you’re never fired.
One nation under me.
All I know… is everything.
If you must curse, use your own name!
Need a marriage counselor? I’m available.
Life is Short, Eternity isn’t.
The real Supreme Court meets up here.
Feeling lost? My Book is your map.

Let the sniping commence!!!

[I love youX3] - Now this is an interesting intro to the hypocrisy of Christian adverts. Consider, from the good book itself, Genesis 11, Verse 1: 1 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2 As men moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.

Now Genesis 11 verses 5-7: 5 But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. 6 The LORD said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other."

Damn it ALL!!! We could have had flying cards by 7AD and instead, two millenia later we're still just beginning to handle jetpacks!? Fuck. What a dick move on God's part. "Hey, stop inventing things and being intelligent!" Ick and more ick. But hey God loves you in three different languages so its all good. [/I love youX3]

[As my apprentice, you’re never fired.]

Did the big man ever take an apprentice? Because as we've just seen illustrated God apparently doesn't like things to be built or improved upon. I hate to think what god has to say about George Carlin's 2 commandments.

[/As my apprentice, you’re never fired.]

So far so good. The third statement is where things really get interesting though.

[One nation under me.]

Wow. I actually find myself in agreement. I know you think I am about to scream out something sarcastic, caustic or just plain ol' mean but I am not. The founding of this, our great nation, was largely due to a group of rich while dudes many of whom were deists. Now deists believe in a god but they take the more enlightened view that if god really created the universe it shouldn't require constant hotfixes and updates. It just needs to run out its perfection, like a watch ticking away until the end of time.

That is a God I can get behind. In fact as a young man whose sincere prayers went unanswered time and time again I can only express doubt as to whether any omniscient beings were listening in. True omnipresence, omnipotence and omniscience would make it POSSIBLE for a god or gods to hear. As to whether or not they give a shit...well, that remains to be seen.

Deism is practically atheism but it sounds a lot less scary to believers who may or may not be holding torches and pitchforks. A grim thought no doubt but one not totally unfounded. If someone put a gun to my head and said 'do you believe in god?' *the implications should be obvious* then I would probably either 1) Lie and say yes or 2) Crack a joke about the dick with the gun.

Neither outcome really suits me but thats the way the world works.

[/One nation under me.]

[All I know… is everything.]

Can of worms anyone? Worms in a can, let out, squirming all over? I never really got that expression and yet the message comes through. Making a statement so bold and crass is like opening a can of worms. I don't mean they all come spilling out all over I mean it just stinks. How long could a bunch of words survive in a can anyways?

Consider the implications. And most people rear back and say 'god didn't create evil he gave men free will and they cooked it up themselves.' which is fine by me. I accept that men (and women, especially women) create plenty of evil in the world without invoking supernatural forces.

But one has to wonder. The appendix appears pretty darned vestigial. Was that intentional? I mean if I was designing the ultimate motherboard I wouldn't put an ISA slot on it just in case. The appendix isn't even that useful. Its like including a 386 with a Quad Core Processor. The thing is obsolete and unaccessible. And yet, our genetic code grows and maintains the thing. It costs some amount of protein and calories to have a nonfunctional appendix living inside you.

So if it does nothing good for us, and yet can become inflamed and potentially lethal *not so much these days for first worlders anyways* and it exists therefore it costs us food and resources to maintain.

Lets consider that. According to the FDA 2000 kilocalories should represent average intake for an american adult. Lets take someone who weighs 152.5 lbs and do the math. 400 calories go to the brain leaving 1,600 for the rest of the body, yikes. So 1600 calories / 150 pounds = 10.67 calories per pound of non-thinking flesh per day. I wasn't able to find a good indicator on the mass of the vermiform appendage but they say its about 2cm wide and 2-26cm long with an average length of 10cm *bout 4 inches*

For simplicity's sake lets say that maintaining the appendix costs 1/10th of a kilocalorie per day, per person and do some more oversimplistic word-problemesque BS type math.

At the time of this writing the current world population is estimated at 6.75 billion people. For reference on my birthday in 1982 it was about 4.65 billion.

For only twenty-five years that is TREMENDOUSly scary. If we look at the resource cost of even 1 billion people the results are staggering. Remember only one tenth of one calorie per day is necessary. Over a billion people that means in one day the human appendix costs the human race... 100,000,000 calories of food energy. For 6 billion its 600,000,000 haha, that was too easy.

But even 100 million calories robbed from the ecosystem for some arcane purpose that modern medical science has yet to uncover? That is half a million krispy creme donuts people!!

I ask you people in all sincerity what sort of malevolence a creator would show with such drastic waste. I am appalled.

[/All I know… is everything.]

[If you must curse, use your own name!]

Ha, ha. Gee Seth damn it!! just doesn't quite have the kick I like out of forceful ejaculations (i wanted to link this so bad but only because most people don't really get what i mean.)

[/If you must curse, use your own name!]

[ Need a marriage counselor? I’m available.]

Annual divorce rate statistics in America:

Median age at first marriage:	Males: 26.9 Females: 25.3
Median age at first divorce:	Males: 30.5 Females: 29

Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, and 15th anniversaries:	5th: 82% 10th: 65% 15th: 52%
Percentage of married people who reach their 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries:	25th: 33% 35th: 20% 50th: 5%

Granted those living to their 50th anniversary are probably nearing their 70's but still. If you get married at 25 then your chance of remaining together for the next 25 years is only 1 in 3.

Ok, so what does that mean? Well consider also that about 80% of Americans consider themselves religious in some way shape or form.

It could be, and maybe this is just a radical thought on my part, maybe people just make bad choices for their life mates. Maybe people aren't always meant to last as couples for a long time. Maybe the kids cause them to stay together until they leave the nest and then its go time!

Obviously there are problems with marriage. Whether they need to be fixed or the practice be abandoned I cannot say. However the emphasis on its place as a proper and fixed ceremony seem to becoming less and less applicable *Natalie if you read this I love you and no one else and please don't think I mean you and me* to society as a whole.

Granted it is hard to imagine a world without marriage and the traditional family but then again it is hard to imagine a world without the internet. But it once existed, I swear, look it up in wikipedia if you don't believe me.

[/ Need a marriage counselor? I’m available.]

[Life is Short, Eternity isn’t.]

Oh, snap! The scariest thing in the world is burning in hell for all eternity. And that is what awaits those of us who engage in lewd and lascivious (love that word) behavior all the live long day. Eating meat on a Friday: Hell. Sleeping with anything that isn't your spouse: Hell. Poking a badger with a spoon: Not sure, probably hell.

What irks me the most about the whole heaven and hell thing is that eternity is a state of permanence! It just goes on and on with no end. Usually I can cut off a concept or thing when proton decay or heat death of the universe comes in to play but eternity?

Harsh harsh words. Striking fear into the hearts of non-believers is good at putting butts in pews but COME ON is anyone really going to be a good believer if they join purely out of fear or self interest? It just seems like bad psychology to me. People are less likely to do bad things to others when they healthy, happy and educated or at least too busy to get into trouble. I firmly believe that people would do fewer bad things if they had better hardware or software cranking out their decisions.

For example: At some point in college, we'll shamefully admit that it was in Calc II, I realized my brain had hit the limit of its understanding. Shit! That's a terrifying concept. Things can be learned, relearned and approached from a new angle but hitting a wall like that was a bad day. I felt like less of a person because I knew my brain had smacked dead on into a limitation. Now maybe thats an overly harsh example and maybe if I REALLY REALLY studied my butt off I could crack it open.

But then again I could open a restaurant or start training for a marathon or do any number of things are considered admirable by others. I don't have time to do them all. Even if I had a thousand years to live I could never experience all the good things and all the bad things in life.

If I did then I might consider judgment day a fair step afterwards. But it isn't so I can't abide any deity that can't see what a few psych classes can teach a flawed and mathematically challenged individual can see plain as day.

Besides free will is largely a myth.

[/]Life is Short, Eternity isn’t.]


[The real Supreme Court meets up here.]

Comparing the heavenly host to a group of crusty old judges appointed solely for political reasons. Hmmm. Nope, I don't even need to comment on that.

[/The real Supreme Court meets up here.]

[Feeling lost? My Book is your map.]

Sanctu biblio, holy book, a truly large and interesting volume of text. Its like the beaten egg in the custard of literacy that spans almost 2 millenia. And yet, for all the majesty and splendor in the written words of god almighty there is not a single scrap of humor.

Irony and awkward situations yes but I challenge you to find a single passage intended to make a reader laugh.

There will always be physical, emotional, historical and biological contradictions to any and every faith of mankind but surely if we were created in the image of our 'father god' then he would make us smile once and a while.

I like to think so anyways. Then again, I never created a universe so maybe I ask to much. Perhaps god is simply tired and we should let him chill out for a billion years or so. That seems fair. So please to all you billboard sponsors and every poor schmoe that comes across anything claiming to be god's word I implore you: give god a rest. He's been through a lot lately.

[/Feeling lost? My Book is your map.]