Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Kirk Cameron's butt buddy: The banana man...

Ray Comfort.

No its not what you feel in the bright sun after a generous application of UV blocking colloidal nano-tech it's the name of one of our generation's greatest dingbats. His blog: (clicking this link will bring you to an IQ deficient portion of the web)

I will say one good thing about Mr. Comfort: He allows more controversial/derogatory comments than those brain dead ass clowns at uncommon decent. And yes, William Dembski is THE guy so mercilessly thrashed in many fine anti-creationist videos courtesy of my favorite youtube personality.

Anyway, I was looking at the RC blog and came across a post where Ray answers a bunch of biased questions, clearly written by sycophants and hangers on to his message that banana's are in fact a nightmare for atheists due to their ease of use and convenience.

Here are my own answers, which I hopefully will soon see in the comments section.

Q1: Do you believe in microevolution? Yes, and therefore macroevolution and therefore the origin of life from natural causes. Microevolution is just evolution over a few generations, macro evolution differs only by timescale.

Q2: Do you believe in natural selection? Yes, it is inevitable. Also the 'lion eats lamb' statement is a little weird as NS applies to both species, not just one. Weaker lions starve, stronger lambs live to outrun the lions another day.

Q3: Do you think that one can be both a Christian and an evolutionist? Yes, though the cognitive dissonance must be something of a pain in the head.

Q4: Do you believe that the book of Genesis calls for a literal interpretation? Yes, and since it is clearly at odds with nearly everything we know now about world formation, abiogenesis, evolution, cosmology and physics we should literally throw it out as erroneous nonsense.

Q5: Do you believe that the earth was created in 6,000 years? There is no way that six days or 6 thousand years would have been enough time for intrastellar dust to coalesce, cool enough for liquid water to form, life to emerge and evolve and arrive at its present state. The earth is about 4 billion years old though its base components are much older.

Q6: In one sentence, what do you believe is the chief purpose of human life? To further mankind, enjoy the rare and fleeting moments we have on this earth and to derive whatever purpose we are suited to. This does not involve bowing to invisible authority unless one is so inclined to do so.

Q7: In one sentence, what is the ultimate purpose of this blog? Mental backflipping and misinformation. Oh and BANANA'S!!!

Q8: Is your belief in God's existence based on faith or absolute knowledge? Faith alone, and faith is never enough reason to believe in anything.

Q9: Do you believe that truth is relative? Truth is a human metaphor for good, reliable information. Even 'good' information is never perfect for it cannot reference every instance of itself in the universe so 'truth' must be relative.

Q10: In one sentence, what is "wisdom"? Wisdom is being able to apply what you know about the world and apply it in a general sense to other situations in order to detect patterns or trends and take account of them in novel situations.

Q11: In one sentence, what is "faith"? Faith is not solely biblical, it applies to a vast host of religions across the world many of them claiming to have exclusive access to the truth/heaven/enlightment and all that. Faith alone proves nothing.

Q12: In one sentence what does it mean to you to "prove" something? While I agree that its impossible to absolutely prove anything that does not mean we can't weed out bad ideas based on probabilty and corroborating evidence both for and against.

Q13: In one sentence, why should a person put his faith in Jesus Christ? In my opinion they should not. And to say humans with limited mental faculties subjected to harsh conditions deserve hell and damnation for eternity strikes me as a little cold. Surely an all-powerful being could make some provision for reform or repentence even if the subject in question does not deserve it.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Abominable miscomprehension...

Been a while, last post was Thursday of last week and now its Wednesday. Here's the update towards the project.

Friday: 1.150
Saturday: .60Mc on the elliptical (this was a fecking disaster, i felt like hammered shit because I stayed up too late playing Call of Duty 4.
Monday: 1.01
Tuesday (night): 1.0Mc
Wednesday: 1.160

The end of last week's foot should have been:

06/21/2008, 248 lbs, 16.30 MC

The current count is now:

06/25/2008, 250 lbs, 19.47 MC

Under scrutiny a little forensic digging will turn up a weird weight discrepancy. On Thursday and Saturday the morning weight was 248 but on Friday it was 250 and on Monday it was 252. It's weird but I really think the scale is a piece of shit at the YMCA and water weight fluctuations make it hard to get at an accurate assessment. I know I didn't lose 2 pounds (7Mc) and then gain it right back over the weekend. My calorie consumption per day is almost never more than 3Mc and it would have to have been 14Mc NET GAIN to account for that sort of bounce. More likely its incidentals like water, current amount of bowels (gross, I know) and how much I have had for breakfast if anything.

I still feel like I am getting stronger and my muscles feel noticably firmer so I am not worried but they say it takes 6-8 weeks before you start seeing real weightloss so we shall see.

As I near the 20Mc mark the scope and magnitude of the project again weight heavily on my mind. After all I am counting to 1000 and its taken about a month to get to almost 20.

The upshot is that 20Mc will almost certainly be surpassed tomorrow and that means another full percentage point under my shrinking belt line.

20 Mc a month will complete the project in...wait for it...50 months, which is 300 days ahead of schedule. I think that's a respectable average for the first month and though I will try to exceed it whenever possible I think its a damned good start.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Today is sucking

Oh lame and lamer, a mere .75Mc today. I blame lack of sleep and just a cruddy feeling all around.

More later if I can drag my butt out of this funk.

06/19/2008, 248 lbs, 14.55 MC

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A little something for the skeptical part of your brain to gnaw on...

PZ Myers got a fun email from some dork who lists 50 proofs for the existence of the christian deity. Obviously if they are 50 snippets at least all of them are guaranteed to suck balls. Regardless of what you believe, at least argue for it well. My refutations are in bold.

Destruction follows:

It is easy to prove to yourself that God is real. .the evidence is all around you. Here are 50 simple proofs:

  1. Whilst agreeing that random patterns occur naturally by chance, DNA however, consists of code, which requires a designer. DNA comes from living creatures passing on their genes to the next generation. There is not a single instance where DNA has been shown to be designed, only modified.

  2. How do you explain the paranormal, such as people witnessing positive or negative sightings, like ghosts or angels? I saw a ghost with a friend of mine - I am not a liar, an attention seeker. Neither was I overtired when this happened. Anecdotal evidence is inadmissible, no matter how much rest you got.

  3. Try praying. What good is it when a mind is set to coincidence & disbelief regarding the positive outcome? Try composing intelligible sentences. Also, prayer doesn't work or you'd be dead right now.

  4. The law of cause & effect - in order to have an effect, there has to be a cause. Everything is caused by something. Read a book on Quantum Mechanics.

  5. Mindless nothing cannot be responsible for complex something. And yet a human without a functioning brain composed this list. Curious. Also, you seem to be unaware of emergent phenomena, evolution and fractal geometry.

  6. Science can only be the detector of certain things. You cannot scientifically detect emotion, memory, thoughts etc., though scientifically we must.. These things which do not consist of matter are beyond the detection of science. Ridiculous, you're basically saying that because we can't interpret software by studying the outside of a CPU that it must be supernatural. Also, and more obviously, emotions, memory and thoughts ARE detectable by natural means via brain chemistry, PET scans etc.

  7. Evolution has never been proved, which is why we call it the 'theory of evolution'. It's a fairy tale for grown ups! Anyone so courageously ignorant to publish this particular brand of idiocy is obviously to stupid to google 'scientific theory.' Semantic comparisons to popular understanding of science do not diminish the strength of evolutionary theory nor do they alleviate the crushing weight of evidence that is and always has occurred since life began.

  8. Atheism is a faith in that which has not been proved. The disbelievers have not witnessed anything to not believe in, whereas the believers believe because they have witnessed. There is no 'good news' to preach in atheism. The good news is that atheists don't have to suffer the leadership of people who are willing to dry swallow dusty old scripture despite 20 centuries of evidence to the contrary. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch, though clearly you are immune due to lack of cognition.

  9. How much of the atheist's faith relies on anger with God as opposed to genuine disbelief in God? Atheists do not have faith, therefore none. Also we don't capitalize god on purpose. See unless we begin a sentence with god there's no reason because it doesn't qualify as a Proper Noun. I do capitalize the Flying Spaghetti Monster because at least we can all agree to worship our dish most holy.

  10. Why do many atheists shake their fists & spend so much time ranting & raving about something they don't believe in? If they are no more than a fizzled out battery at the end of the day, then why don't they spend their lives partying, or getting a hobby?! Why don't they leave this 'God nonsense' alone? Because our children will grow up along side yours, and left to your own devices you would smother the human race in ritual, authority and mindless obedience for the sole purpose of power. Oh but you'll call it salvation and that sounds much better.

  11. What created God? What came first, the chicken or the egg? I am not going to deny the existence of the chicken or the egg, merely because I don't understand or know what came first. I don't care - they both exist! This is a proof? Wow usually taking a logical paradox comes with some backing argument or semblence of...anything really. I'd love to see how you would answer this but oh wait, you don't care because they both exist. And yet you presume to know better than the entire scientific community?

  12. Improbability is not the same as impossibility. You only have to look at life itself for that backup of proof. Statement one is true, congratulations on word distinction. Statement two is ironic because the people who study life and really bring scrutiny to bear on how it works, you know, in the real world, have utterly different beliefs than you.

  13. How could the complexity of human life possibly evolve on its own accord out of mindless cells? Clearly you don't understand abiogenesis or biological evolution. I feel compelled to mention that I have already answered this question and we're only 13 'proofs' down the list. I wonder if insiped repetition is bound to follow?

  14. How could the complexity of the human mind possibly evolve on its own accord out of mindless cells? Where does our consciousness come from? Why do humans have the largest cerebrums out of all the mammals? How is that only humans are conscious beings? How can you honestly pass this tripe off as proof?

  15. What/who knew that our hunger & thirst had to be catered for by the food & drink which we're supplied with? Ha! Every living creature needs chemical energy in the form of food and water. Hunger and thirst are motivators to ensure that living creatures will go to great lengths to eat and drink so they can live and mate and where do you suppose those genes end up? Baby lions and baby antelope, and what do they do when they get hungry and thirsty?

  16. Most of us are born with the five senses to detect our surroundings, which we're provided with. And some don't. Are you saying people who are born blind or deaf are not as worthy as those with all 'five' senses? If so you should really pray because you were apparently born without a fucking conscience.

  17. What/who knew that had Earth been set nearer to the sun, we would burn up? Anthropic Principle. And yes, that got put in the clipboard for I can read the next two questions.

  18. What/who knew that had Earth been set any further from the sun, we would freeze up? Anthropic Principle.

  19. What/who knew that had Earth been built larger or smaller, its atmosphere would be one where it would not be possible for us to breathe? Anthropic Principle.

  20. What/who knew that we require the oxygen of plants, just as plants require the carbon dioxide of us? Anthropic Principle.

  21. The concept that life came about through sheer chance is as absurd & improbable as a tornado blowing through a junk yard, consequently assembling a Boeing 747! Anthropic Principle. No wait, sorry, I got carried away. That argument is as stupid as saying that heavier books must carry more knowledge and insight because they need more ink. Also its not at all absurd because here we are.

  22. We are willing to believe in physically unseen waves that exist through the air, operating physical forces & appliances to work, yet not supernatural God forces being responsible for the same. Radio: Well understood form of electromagnetic radiation that is easily detectable by myriad forms of antennae. Supposed god waves: never witnessed or presumed to be witnessed only to turn out as neutrinos or wavicles or something that is later added to scientific understanding.

  23. Matter cannot organise itself. An uneaten tomato will not progress on its own accord to form a perfect pineapple. It will transform into mould, into disorganisation. The laws of evolution fall flat. Wow, this is a weird corruption of the second law of thermodynamics kludged together with a bit of nonsense. Of course tomatoes don't become pineapples. What about pineapple seeds? Do they not organize themselves into full grown plants? Do embryoes not organize themselves into larger multicellular organisms? Do you know how to spell organize?

  24. Our 'inventor' of evolution, Mr. Charles Darwin had this to say to Lady Hope when he was almost bedridden for 3 months before he died; "I was a young man with unfathomed ideas. I threw out queries, suggestions. wondering all the time over everything, and to my astonishment the ideas took like wildfire - people made a religion of them." Darwin then asked Lady Hope to speak to neighbours the next day. "What shall I speak about?" She asked. He replied; "Christ Jesus and his salvation. Is that not the best theme?" Darwin did not recant. Even if he did his theory has born up to the bewildered cudgels of dim wits and bright-minded people for over 150 years. Also you seem to be suggesting that brilliant people only turn to religion when faced with sickness and death.

  25. Where do our moral values held within our conscience come from? If the atheist is right, why then would we care about what we did?! If there is no God, then we've no-one to be accountable to. I agree, we as civilized humans, are not accountable after death. Society still needs to function and if people go around doing anti-social things there are things like laws and customs to keep them from hurting others. Do you really need a reason not to go out and kill people willy nilly? Isn't their a shred of human dignity you want to leave alone?

  26. If man has evolved from an animal, why doesn't he behave like an animal? Yet man is civilised. Ok...Animals are born, they eat food to grow, they learn how to live as whatever type of animal they are, they mate or spawn and then they die. Humans are born, they eat food and grow, they learn to live as a human, they mate and then they die. The fact that culture has evolved to make it possible for humans to cooperate and help each other does not alter our biological origins nor does civilization diminish the leftover instincts and impulses that we carry from our ancestors. Oh sorry, were you using your appendix for something?

  27. 'Chance' isn't the cause of something. It just describes what we can't find a reason for. 'Chance' is a dumbasses substitution for 'probability.' Life, indeed even non-life does not operate solely by chance nor does it profit solely by choice. If it were purely up to chance then life would not have evolved, anywhere ever. Obviously the universe, physics and chemistry allow for natural processes to account for life's origin, its continued development and its constant adaptation over billions of years.

  28. Science & logic do not hold all the answers - many people are aware of forces at work which we have no understanding of & no control over. Who are they? Why haven't they proved these forces exist and made millions of dollars banishing any doubt that these 'forces' exist. Psychics don't win the lottery, think about that.

  29. Look at the date/year on our calender - 2000 years ago since what? Our historical records (other than the Bible) record evidence of Jesus' existence. He very well may have existed. How does a convention prove anything other than he was a man?

  30. Many people have died for their faith. Would they be prepared to do this for a lie?! If they believed it to be true then yes, they wouldn't see it as a lie. You probably believe that you're qualified to write a book and that's just not bearing out.

  31. Much of the Bible deals with eyewitness accounts, written only 40 years after Jesus died. When the books in the New Testament were first around, there would have been confusion & anger if the books were not true. Why the fuck did it take 40 years? Why weren't people shouting this crap from the rooftops at all hours of the day? Why not 4 years or even 4 days. The human lifespan during the first century wasn't even 40 years. Also these people had no access to television or radio or even literature. Obscure events that happened in 1968 could easily be fabricated or exagerrated and with no way to fact check people would probably believe it.

  32. From as early as 2000 BC, there is archaological evidence to confirm many details we're provided with in the Bible. Like the flood? Like miracles with no empirical evidence to show for them? Like the world being created before the sun, like liquid water being on the surface of the planet without a sun to maintain its temperature? What am I missing?

  33. Not one single Biblical prediction can be shown as false, and the Bible contains hundreds. The bible also contains about 400 contradictions and the historicity of the bible is questionable at best. Proof:

  34. The evidence from liturature & historical studies claim that Biblical statements are reliable details of genuine events. So if literature and historical studies didn't turn up a single scrap of archeological or corroborative evidence that the jews wandered the desert for 40 years you'd recant on that right? No of course not because there is none and you still believe in the bible. Also, anecdotal evidence polluted by thousands of years of history and discovery does not mean that miracles ever used to happen or ever will happen.

  35. From the birth of science through to today, there is no evidence to claim that Christianity & science are in opposition. Many first scientists were Christians; Francis Bacon, Issaac Newton, Robert Boyle, to name a few, along with the many who stand by their work & faith today. There have been a lot of christian scientists throughout the ages. There have also been a lot of assholes who charge people like galileo with heresy because he looked at the moon and saw craters instead of divine perfection. That's the sort of problem we run into when dogma meets empirical contradiction.

  36. Science can explain 'how' something works, but not 'why' something works. Unless there's evidence for it...

  37. Science is constantly recorrecting its findings. Past theories contradict certain beliefs which are held today. Our present 'discoveries' may change again in the future to rediscover how we originally came into existence. That's how science works and its a virtue, not a vice.

  38. Evolution describes the way life possibly started, yet doesn't explain what made life start & why. Scientific questions fail to do that. Even if evolution were proved, it would still not disprove God. Abiogenesis describes how life probably started, evolution fills in the 4 billion year timetable and again, emergence/Anthropic Principle. Also, why are you backpedaling on science all of a sudden. Early on you couldn't give it the time of day now you are hedging...curious.

  39. The two people who discovered Jesus' empty tomb were women. Women were so low on the social scale in first century Palestine, so in order to make the story fit, it would have made far more sense to claim that it were male disciples who had entered the tomb. But it wasn't - we're left with the historical & Biblical truth. Let me quote you "Improbability is not the same as impossibility" See, shot yourself in the foot there.

  40. Think about Near Death Experiences. It's naive to believe that they all are induced by chemicals or drugs. How do we account for a blind person having this experience, coming back to describe what they had never before seen, a person telling the Doctor that there is a blue paperclip on top of the high cabinet, which they couldn't have otherwise known, an african man being dead in his coffin for 3 days, coming back to life to tell of much the same events which took place as those of many others? We never hear of the witnesses describing "a dream". We're not silly - we know the difference between even the most vivid of dreams to that of reality. Should have copied 'anecdotal evidence is not admissible' so I could just control+V this one.

  41. There are many skeptics who didn't believe in Jesus before his crucifixion, and who were opposed to Christianity, yet turned to the Christian faith after the death of Jesus. Just as the many who continue to do so today. And urban legends find new people to propagate them everyday as well, does that mean anything to you? It should because it follows a truism: Bullshit begets bullshit.

  42. Albert Einstein said; "A legitimate conflict between science & religion cannot exist. Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind". Albert Einstein also said "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

  43. A speaker in Hyde Park who was attacking belief in God, claimed that the world just happened. As he spoke, a soft tomato was thrown at him. "Who threw that?" He said angrily. A cockney from the back of the crowd replied; "No-one threw it - it threw itself!" The same argument can be made that if god created the universe and everything in it that includes your face and my bucket of feces. And if the bucket of feces winds up on your head it must be gods will otherwise it wouldn't have happened. Or 'god created the bucket for your head' will do nicely.

  44. It is easier to believe that God created something out of nothing than it is to believe that nothing created something out of nothing. It is easier to believe that miraculous claims, having no evidence other than circumstantial and anecdotal are probably false rather than true. It's also easier to believe that if god was complex enough to create the universe than a being of equal or greater complexity would have to create god. Otherwise you get 'nothing created god who created something out of nothing' and that's even dumber than Kent Hovind on Quaaludes.

  45. Stephen Hawkins has admitted; "Science may solve the problem of how the universe began, but it cannot answer the question: why does the universe bother to exist?" Anecdotal...ah fuck it. Stephen Hawkins is a man, not a prophet, he's not featured in the holy book or any prophecy about a man from the new babylon who rides around speaking like a robot. Why does his voice carry so much weight for you god and not allah or vishnu or any other made up deity?

  46. We cannot confuse God with man. With God in the equation, all things, including miracles are possible. If God is God, he is Creator of all, inclusive of scientific law. He is Creator of matter & spirit. Self-contradictory statement! If miracles are possible then science would be utterly futile because the rules could change at any time and trying to make sense of it would be impossible because a finely tuned experiment could go awry at any time. I trust the hubble telescope more than any holy text ever written by man.

  47. If we are the product of evolution - by sheer accident, chance, then we are still evolving. Does it just so happen that we exist here today with everything so finely tuned for our living. as we now have it? We are still evolving, you managed to sneak an actual observation only 47 items down the list. I'm not going to trot out the anthropic principle but I will reiterate that if conditions had not been right then we wouldn't exist to complain about not existing.

  48. Could it possibly be that the missing link does not exist?! There are thousands of transitional fossils, just because there aren't any weird animals that fit your disney land freakshow definitions doesn't mean evolution is suffering for it.

  49. God has proved himself to us in numerous ways, all around us. The atheist needs to put his glasses on. What more can God possibly do if man has shut his eyes to him? As a near-sighted individual one can pose the obvious counter question: Why is it so easy for redneck evangelicals to see this magic man than the most brilliant minds on the planet earth? If the idea of god made sense more people would believe in it. Your faith is based on gullibility, fear and peer pressure. If you want an honest answer on how god could reach more people then you better reach for the pliers and a blowtorch because it'll take torture to make people swallow your half-baked theology.

  50. Jesus Christ is either who he says he is, or he is the biggest con man history has ever known. Con man, or schizophrenic, or maybe he's just the fabrication of an archetypal brand of messiah that was running rampant at that time.


I have decided this: Just because some people buy your book doesn't mean you or any of them are worth the ink and paper its printed on. You will die expecting to go to heaven and you won't even be disappointed to find out that it was all a dream, because you'll be dead.

Elliptical woes

Now a few days ago I read this article about how its harder to lose weight via swimming because your appetite spikes up. This is apparently due to heat dissipation.

Lets put it in nerd terms, shall we? Water has a high specific heat, meaning it takes a lot more energy to raise the temp of water than of air. Part of this is due to density. A cubic foot of water weighs in at a nice 62.425 pounds. A cubic foot of air only weighs a fraction. According to this source:

FINAL ANSWER: 1 cubic foot of air at standard temperature and pressure assuming average composition weighs approximately 0.0807 lbs.

Density isn't the only factor though. A cubic foot of iron weighs about 450 pounds depending on composition.

However iron only has a specific heat of
0.108 (kcal/kgoC)

Water has 4.184J/g oC

That is joules per gram so we multiply by 1000 for a kilogram to get 4184 and convert joules to calories to get 0.999976

1 joule = 0.000239005736 kilocalories

For simplicity's sake we'll say Iron has a specific heat about 1/9th that of water even though its far more dense.

The point of all this jiggery-pokery with the calculator is that water dissipates heat much more quickly than air at a given temperature. When you exert yourself your body generates heat by friction and the actions it uses to break down ATP and fat and all that good stuff. Any conversion of energy, in the case of exercise its chemical to mechanical, there is waste heat produced.

On a bike or a treadmill or anything based in air your body temperature will rise, you'll sweat and the sweat will by evaporation mitigate the buildup of heat to some extent. When surrounded by water you still generate the same heat, more if you're burning more calories in a given time span, but that heat is constantly fed into the surrounding water.

Anyone who's ever popped the cap on a hot radiator knows that water can absorb a load of heat. Cars are water cooled, boats are ironically air cooled. In PC terms the specific heat of a liquid that is mostly or all water will be able to move more heat away from a hot processor or gpu than air alone.

Without that rise in body temperature, the body is actually cooled faster than it can produce heat to warm itself. If you spend long enough in an 80 degree (Farenheit) pool then you can actually get hypothermia. It will take hours but the same effect will not happen in air unless you're starving or their is a strong wind blowing (more on convection in just a bit)

Actually lets talk about convection right now. When a fan is 'cooling' its really just moving air around. Blowing air over a neutral object that isn't producing any heat will not cool it. If you spritz water on that same object the evaporation will cool it. If the object is an animal or other heat producing object then the generated heat will be lessened due to convection.

While running the flow of air that you feel is partially due to your pushing through it. If the air is at a constant temperature then it will absorb some heat and then quickly be replaced by air at the default temperature. The same is true of water as you push through a pool. If you were in a confined room with a fan blowing then started doing jumping jacks you would feel a rise in the ambient temperature in just a few minutes.

In a pool this would take MUCH much longer because though the energy you're exerting is the same the medium that is absorbing it takes much more energy to raise or lower its temperature. Remember a kilocalorie, or food calorie, is the amount of energy it takes to raise one kilogram of water by one degree (at zero degrees Celsius) a 25x25x1.5 yard pool contains about 25312.5 cubic feet of water. That amount of water has a mass of about 716748.75 kilograms and so you'd have to burn over 700,000 calories to produce A SINGLE DEGREE temperature rise.

That's impressive, since it would take nearly a full gigacalorie to produce even such a modest goal. So, since we are constantly losing heat to the water and its constantly cooling us we experience no body temperature rise and therefore no secondary loss of appetite associated with running or other dry land activities.

I can attest to this today as all I have had to eat so far has been a diet sundrop and a protein shake. 200 calories and I have been up for almost 4 hours. If I had been swimming today I would be ravenous and probably would have needed a snack or a bigger breakfast than just some whey protein in milk.

It will be interesting to monitor this phenomenon over the coming weeks. Its also at least partially indicitive of why swimming burns so many calories compared to other stuff. We have to constantly maintain our body temperature or crap starts shutting down and the body is probably burning extra fuel just to keep you from freezing in the pool.

.85Mc today.

06/17/2008, 249 lbs, 13.8 MC

Monday, June 16, 2008

2.22 miles in da pool this morning.

Today began with a decidedly bad night of sleep. I woke up 3 different times with a mouthful of saliva, not just a little drool but a full on cheek load. It was really gross and warm, like jellyfish in a blender.

Anyway despite all that I got to the pool super early and banged out nice week starter of a workout. 1.54 MC today means that I only have to do 2.26MC for the rest of the week.

I intend to do more but its nice to know that if I get sick then I'll have some bufferage stored up soon. I also added a 25g slug of protein to my morning breakfast. In addition to being healthy and good for muscle recovery it was also really damn tasty.

I also scored some Vitamin C for anti-oxidant potency and some Vitamin D under the advice of the old man. Turns out Vitamin E isn't all its cracked up to be. Sorry Lucas. Oh and for the first time in three weeks I registered below 250 on the scale. I don't really care about weight at this point but its nice to know that its starting.

The count stands as follows:

06/16/2008, 249.5 lbs, 12.95 MC

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Regarding Clarity...

This morning I had one of those moments where a long past memory jumps into recollection and lingers, hence this blog post.

Eight or nine years ago I attended a few bible studies at the Concord Church of Christ. There were about 12 people present, I was the only newcomer. If you've read a few of my previous posts then you know I am not religious in the slightest but at this time in my life I was actively seeking a greater sense of truth in the world.

The discussion revolved around the unique gifts and abilities instilled in each of us by our creator and how best to use them but also what, if anything, we wish that we had more of. Some of the others wanted better patience, understanding and all that jazz.

I said that I longed for Clarity.

After an initial mistaken impression that I wanted clairvoyance we cut to the heart of the matter. My problem with christianity at the time, one of many, was that knowing more about the consequences of your actions would essentially lead you to realize that you committed an ever greater number of sins.

This troubled me because I think its a little shitty that the most cognizant and introspective people of a faith should carry extra guilt as a consequence. However the issue, and the need for clarity goes something like this:

Any number of neutral actions or behaviors can have no apparent consequence for you directly but still lead to great good or great harm independently of any intention. For example if you accidentally drop a 20 dollar bill and don't remember where you lost it then the next person who finds it will have 20 dollars that came to them through no benefit or virtue of their own.

Whether it will be used for good or ill is impossible to know. A needy child might find it on the day his parents need money for medicine for a sick sibling. Another child might happen upon it at a time when he has unique access to something like drugs, or even fireworks or candy and that might negatively affect them.

There is no way to know how far the consequences of our actions, intentional and otherwise, will carry. Do the ripples reach the other side of the pond? This bothers me!! It still bothers me today.

My desire was to know, with absolute certainty, which of my actions, my mistakes and even my sins most heinous would lead to good or ill not just for me but for those who touched the ripples of my conscious mind.

In the light of greater understanding, having a college education, a few hundred more books and a near decade of experience to give perspective I now see what I lacked back then. I lack it still and will forever but it no longer troubles me so much.

The search for truth at some strange conflux of events has become a search for good information. I know I have rejected the need for truth many times because it is such a weird human contrivance and gives undue credit to certain bad ideas. Arbitrary social norms and ideals are held up for no reason other than the certainty that they are right according to some majority of active pushers and passive enablers.

Clarity will never come from wishing. It will never come, you have to go out and strangle it out of the wilderness or you will never find it. I know the whole 'life's a journey not a destination' cliche sticks in most people's throat but it fits this post so I use it.

What the cliche fails to make mention of is a simple and inescapable truth: People, left to their own devices, will often fail to seek adventure or enterprise if they are left in comfortable situations. Finding a comfortable groove and staying there seems as innate to the human spirit as the discontent that skips us out of it.

Our desires, our wanderlust and our weltzschmertz all fluctuate and so does the world around us. Its very easy to miss those opportunities that befall us. Its much harder for them to slip away when you put a knife in your teeth and pursue them into the night.

Or in the day...

Friday, June 13, 2008

End of Week 3: The report.

9.93 Mc would have made me happy for closing out the third week of my endeavor. Its a respectable number, one that overshadows the combined workouts in any other month since I was in college no doubt.

Today I cap the week and finish out with the longest swim that I can boast in recent memory. 2.0 miles, that's 72 laps and only 50 of them were freestyle. The actual breakdown went like this.

Warmup: 8 Free, 2 Breastroke, 2 back
Set1: 20 Fr. 4 Breast
Set2: 10 Fr, 6 Back, 4 Breast, 10 Fr.
Cooldown: 2 Fr, 2 Br, 2 Ba

Only took about 90 minutes but I was struggling like hell the whole time. Freestyle takes less than a minute per lap but breast and back are much slower. They are a nice addition but they are slow. In fact the quantity of non-free exercises is what made today such a challenge.

I used to look back with fondness at the days when I could knock out 5-8 miles at a stretch. Now I just wonder how the hell I ever had enough free time to get away with it. Anyway, he's the weekly breakdown by Mc.

Monday: 1.10Mc
Tuesday: .77Mc
Wednesday: 1.21Mc
Thursday: .85Mc
Friday: 1.48Mc

Weekly total: 5.41Mc
Grand Total: 11.41

At this rate it'll only take 184.85 weeks to finish the project. That's a mere 3.5 years.

At the three-weekly rate its a more reasonable 5.06 years which is nearly what I hope to accomplish. Obviously as time rolls on I hope to burn more with less strain on self, this week has been a bit rough on my tender frame.

For reference the actual weekly average to burn 1000Mc in 5 years is: 3.85Mc

The scope and breadth of this project are looming now like the peak of an impossibly tall mountain. However as I have said before you don't stare at the peak of a hill that you intend to climb. If you want to get there you look at your feet and make sure they keep moving until you reach the top.

Head down, chin up. Until next time...

06/13/2008, 250lbs, 11.41Mc

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Almost didn't make it...

Thursday very nearly passed without a single contribution to the cause but fear not loyal reader, .85Mc have been added to the count.

Part of this stems from an unusual morning occurrence, I can only interpret this as because my MFN cell phone is going schizo on me. I set the alarm for 5:15 and struggled through two ten-minute snoozes before deciding that I felt like crap and would fore go the morning cardio.

Oddly enough a few hours later when some, COCK SUCKERS, rang the butt FSCKING doorbell and woke up alex my phone clock was running an hour slow. I thought it was weird but nat's phone was still true (same model) and later the time issue had corrected itself.

There is no explanation that I can give that doesn't leave me feeling like I don't really understand my phone and may need to take it back for the old yeller treatment but I am loathe to do so. Anyway the count stands tall at... and I hope to increase it beyond 11Mc tomorrow.

Until then, I bid you farewell...

06/12/2008, 250lbs, 9.93Mc

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

What a disappointment...

Ah yet another reference to a calorie calculator, this time directed at an unorthodox form of 'exercise' Apparently if you weigh as much as me but can fuck for an hour that's a good solid 480 calories.

Now I briefly considered adding the contributions gained from this activity but I have decided against it. My five year goal would be met in like 3 weeks and that destroys the whole thrust of the experiment. It's all about the ride not just coming to a happy ending and certainly not a premature climax.


I considered skipping the swim today since I racked up what in gamers terms I would call some sweet (calorie) kills. I mean I started the week with 6 and banged out nearly half of the weekly quota in 2 days.

There are 6 potential slots, one each for Monday through Saturday with Sunday being designated for rest/adventure only.

This wednesday brought forth a bountiful 1.21 megacalories via a laborious 1.67 mile swim. It was 60 laps, mostly freestyle and my fecking shoulders are lit with exertion. Seriously they are generating 10x the heat as the rest of me right now.

Anyway, thats it for now.

06/11/2008, 250lbs, 9.08Mc

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Split your lungs with blood and thunder...

...when you see the white whale!!

Mastodon, a great band. They are one of my new acquisitions but I wish I had dug deeper after seeing this masterpiece.

In other news I am going to add a degree of precision to the whole Gigacalorie project. That said today's cross country skiing brings the total to 7.87 MC.

It was actually 777 or .777 MC but I rounded down because yesterday I rounded up. I'm still not getting good figures on the maximum safe limit to calories burned per week but I intend to consult the old man at some point.

That's it for now. I'm on hold with Kodak at the moment and I don't think I'll ever resolve this BS issue, but we'll see.

Monday, June 9, 2008

And then there were 7.1...

Today's Entry:

06/09/2008 - Swimming: 1.1Mc

More than one complete megacalorie today. It wasn't a super hard day it just took a little longer than usual to jam out 1100 kilo calories. Believe me I am feeling it.

I was actually a little deluded when I thought about taking some before pictures that 'It wouldn't be dramatic enough' because I have already toned up what feels like quite a bit. However some careful scrutiny revealed, after laborious observations that I am in fact quite the fat fuck I was three weeks ago when this project bubbled out of my consciousness.

No I am not going to post them just yet on the off chance that I get hit by a bus or something. No one knows my password and I don't want my parting contribution to the blogosphere to be 'hey he's fat here...and then dead...'

It's not becoming. I've also decided to multiply the scope of the project. After taking into account my age at 26 years old and running the numbers its pretty safe to conclude that I will live past age 31 barring meteors, buses and singularity.

Five years is a long time and coincidentally it synchs up my lust for epic projects with my innate human desire for good wholesome base ten numbers. So the original goal of 205 megacalories in one year, splayed out over 4 additional years becomes 1025 megacalories.

And so, after a few short weeks my goal has become crystalline. By May 1st, 2013 I intend to burn one full GIGACALORIE. (cue the ethereal music and choral 'hallelujah')

That's right. 1 thousand Megacalories is a full million food calories (enough to eat that giant floating pastry that homer ate) or a billion calories. That means if I am successful the energy I will have burned would be enough to raise the temperature of one gram of water ONE BILLION DEGREES!

And people think science isn't awesome. Punks.

To clarify I need to set some things straight so here goes.

I am only counting overt, directly burned calories during exercise that I can monitor/control to some extent. This includes readouts from the exercise machines and really despicably convoluted method of determining swimming calories. It's a real pisser trying to figure out an accurate assessment. There are so many factors to consider and I want to be close without spending forever trying to weed out errors.

Look at this nonsense for a 190lb person:

Swimming laps, freestyle, fast, vigorous effort 863
Swimming laps, freestyle, light/moderate effort 690
Swimming, backstroke, general 690
Swimming, breaststroke, general 863
Swimming, butterfly, general 949
Swimming, leisurely, general 518
Swimming, sidestroke, general 690

However according to the calculator an hour is only 633 for moderate and 995 for vigorous.

This poses a problem since I am not 190 lbs or even 200lbs or even close. Sad to admit but I am currently almost exactly 250lbs. At this weight the moderate/vigorous rate is: 833 /1310 But what the Frick beans is the difference between moderate and vigorous?

Another calculator turned out these figures 838 / 1200

It also appears that swimming one mile tends to burn 7-800 calories. Therefore I have arrived at the following formula for calculating my calories burned swimming.

Calories by Distance + Calories per hour / 2 = Magic Number

Its an ugly compromise I admit it but it will work. Consider this morning's workout. 1.5 miles in about 1.5 hours (that includes stretch time which I exclude from calculation)

1.5 miles (750 calories per mile) = 1125
1.25 hour (850 calories per hour) = 1062

And the average figure is now: 1094 rounded up to 1.1 megacalories for the day. So we add to the grand total to get...

7.1/1000 megacalories (easier to break down than just saying i am .71 % complete because that's just depressing)

Now the rules as I alluded are that I am only counting directly burned calories, not resting calories and I am not going for net or gross calories either. Going by gross calories per day it would only take 400 days (2,500 calories per day)

Going by net calories it'd be a near impossibility since a gigacalorie is close to my weight in pure fat and there are bones and muscles and organs I don't really want to part with just yet in there.

So the goal is not to drop a hundred pounds or rock out hard tasty abs or anything so grandiose and vain. Instead the goal is to improve the phenotype somewhat, get back in shape and ensure a healthy existence with the dual goals of raising the midge and surviving until the singularity (using S-words all the while)

This endeavor has made me hopeful, especially since today was such a victory. If I can smash out 1+Mc days already then multiple Megacalorie days are not too far off. I don't intend to over do it but I have been thinking of epic adventures to keep the daily grind a little more interesting.

For example if I wanted to retroactively add the Mount Whitney climb to the list it would account for something like 8.6 Megacalories. It's a 22 mile hike, what do you expect?

I for one expect great things to come. For once I do not predict catastrophic failure.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Number 6, achieved!!

That's right, 6 megacalories!!

The count so far is as follows

L. Bike .5Mc
Swim .9Mc
S. Bike .6Mc
Swim .9Mc

Swim: .9Mc
L. Bike .5Mc
Ellip. .8Mc
Swim .9Mc

Not too bad, I'll post a more significant detailed explanation in the near future.

Thursday, June 5, 2008


That number is the number of calories burned vs my year end goal. Now I know what you're thinking. It's June, the year is almost halfway over and in order to meet that goal you'd have to burn over 1000 surplus calories everyday (and that span includes christmas AND thanksgiving and those fools close the gym that day)

It's a pisser but one is not so easily deterred. Since I didn't start in January I don't intend to END in january. Instead I hope to meet or exceed this goal by May 1st 2009 assuming I don't get hit by a bus or anything like that.

The number is the sum total of kilo calories one would need to burn 50 english pounds of good ol' adipose tissue. My calculation goes like this. One Kilogram = 1000 grams = 2.2lbs. Therefore a pound = 455 grams (rounded from 454.54) And since one gram of fat contains nine kilocalories then 455 grams = 4,095.

Multiply by 50lbs and you get 204,750. After that simply apply the comfortable human number formula and you end up with a nice round aesthetically pleasing figure of 205 megacalories.

I know what you're thinking. 205 million calories sounds comically impossible but the vernacular usage of 'calorie' is actually referring to a kilocalorie. The crucial difference being that a single calorie can raise the temp of a gram of water by one degree while a kilo calorie raises a kilogram of water one degree.

Therefore over the past two weeks after 7 discrete workouts I have racked up 5.2 megacalories. Hopefully tomorrow will round it off to an even 6.0.

Now I know this is a faulty metric and it does not reflect the true balance of intake/calories burned because I can't very well know exactly what I have burned vs eaten and I don't want it to become a numbers game. This is an effort of will, to be exerted over a long period of time and hopefully my self-project for the year will culminate in nothing more than a few less notches on the belt.

What worries me is that at my current rate, assuming swimming goes well tomorrow then I'll have accumulated 6 megs in two weeks. At the rate of only 3 megacalories a week I would only rack up 156 over a 52 week period.

Bumping up to 4 would make it just under but I am already 5 weeks into this project and I am not counting all the hiking/natural laxatives experienced in Thailand.

4.234 megacalories burned, every single week until the end of April of next year. That sounds superficially high but today I racked up .8 megs in just over an hour. If I can just quintuple that every week I'll be in great shape in no time.

I just hope the Eschaton leaves me alone.