Thursday very nearly passed without a single contribution to the cause but fear not loyal reader, .85Mc have been added to the count.
Part of this stems from an unusual morning occurrence, I can only interpret this as because my MFN cell phone is going schizo on me. I set the alarm for 5:15 and struggled through two ten-minute snoozes before deciding that I felt like crap and would fore go the morning cardio.
Oddly enough a few hours later when some, COCK SUCKERS, rang the butt FSCKING doorbell and woke up alex my phone clock was running an hour slow. I thought it was weird but nat's phone was still true (same model) and later the time issue had corrected itself.
There is no explanation that I can give that doesn't leave me feeling like I don't really understand my phone and may need to take it back for the old yeller treatment but I am loathe to do so. Anyway the count stands tall at... and I hope to increase it beyond 11Mc tomorrow.
Until then, I bid you farewell...
06/12/2008, 250lbs, 9.93Mc
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
What a disappointment...
Ah yet another reference to a calorie calculator, this time directed at an unorthodox form of 'exercise' Apparently if you weigh as much as me but can fuck for an hour that's a good solid 480 calories.
Now I briefly considered adding the contributions gained from this activity but I have decided against it. My five year goal would be met in like 3 weeks and that destroys the whole thrust of the experiment. It's all about the ride not just coming to a happy ending and certainly not a premature climax.
Now I briefly considered adding the contributions gained from this activity but I have decided against it. My five year goal would be met in like 3 weeks and that destroys the whole thrust of the experiment. It's all about the ride not just coming to a happy ending and certainly not a premature climax.
Dupdate
I considered skipping the swim today since I racked up what in gamers terms I would call some sweet (calorie) kills. I mean I started the week with 6 and banged out nearly half of the weekly quota in 2 days.
There are 6 potential slots, one each for Monday through Saturday with Sunday being designated for rest/adventure only.
This wednesday brought forth a bountiful 1.21 megacalories via a laborious 1.67 mile swim. It was 60 laps, mostly freestyle and my fecking shoulders are lit with exertion. Seriously they are generating 10x the heat as the rest of me right now.
Anyway, thats it for now.
06/11/2008, 250lbs, 9.08Mc
There are 6 potential slots, one each for Monday through Saturday with Sunday being designated for rest/adventure only.
This wednesday brought forth a bountiful 1.21 megacalories via a laborious 1.67 mile swim. It was 60 laps, mostly freestyle and my fecking shoulders are lit with exertion. Seriously they are generating 10x the heat as the rest of me right now.
Anyway, thats it for now.
06/11/2008, 250lbs, 9.08Mc
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Split your lungs with blood and thunder...
...when you see the white whale!!
Mastodon, a great band. They are one of my new acquisitions but I wish I had dug deeper after seeing this masterpiece.
In other news I am going to add a degree of precision to the whole Gigacalorie project. That said today's cross country skiing brings the total to 7.87 MC.
It was actually 777 or .777 MC but I rounded down because yesterday I rounded up. I'm still not getting good figures on the maximum safe limit to calories burned per week but I intend to consult the old man at some point.
That's it for now. I'm on hold with Kodak at the moment and I don't think I'll ever resolve this BS issue, but we'll see.
Mastodon, a great band. They are one of my new acquisitions but I wish I had dug deeper after seeing this masterpiece.
In other news I am going to add a degree of precision to the whole Gigacalorie project. That said today's cross country skiing brings the total to 7.87 MC.
It was actually 777 or .777 MC but I rounded down because yesterday I rounded up. I'm still not getting good figures on the maximum safe limit to calories burned per week but I intend to consult the old man at some point.
That's it for now. I'm on hold with Kodak at the moment and I don't think I'll ever resolve this BS issue, but we'll see.
Monday, June 9, 2008
And then there were 7.1...
Today's Entry:
06/09/2008 - Swimming: 1.1Mc
More than one complete megacalorie today. It wasn't a super hard day it just took a little longer than usual to jam out 1100 kilo calories. Believe me I am feeling it.
I was actually a little deluded when I thought about taking some before pictures that 'It wouldn't be dramatic enough' because I have already toned up what feels like quite a bit. However some careful scrutiny revealed, after laborious observations that I am in fact quite the fat fuck I was three weeks ago when this project bubbled out of my consciousness.
No I am not going to post them just yet on the off chance that I get hit by a bus or something. No one knows my password and I don't want my parting contribution to the blogosphere to be 'hey he's fat here...and then dead...'
It's not becoming. I've also decided to multiply the scope of the project. After taking into account my age at 26 years old and running the numbers its pretty safe to conclude that I will live past age 31 barring meteors, buses and singularity.
Five years is a long time and coincidentally it synchs up my lust for epic projects with my innate human desire for good wholesome base ten numbers. So the original goal of 205 megacalories in one year, splayed out over 4 additional years becomes 1025 megacalories.
And so, after a few short weeks my goal has become crystalline. By May 1st, 2013 I intend to burn one full GIGACALORIE. (cue the ethereal music and choral 'hallelujah')
That's right. 1 thousand Megacalories is a full million food calories (enough to eat that giant floating pastry that homer ate) or a billion calories. That means if I am successful the energy I will have burned would be enough to raise the temperature of one gram of water ONE BILLION DEGREES!
And people think science isn't awesome. Punks.
To clarify I need to set some things straight so here goes.
I am only counting overt, directly burned calories during exercise that I can monitor/control to some extent. This includes readouts from the exercise machines and really despicably convoluted method of determining swimming calories. It's a real pisser trying to figure out an accurate assessment. There are so many factors to consider and I want to be close without spending forever trying to weed out errors.
Look at this nonsense for a 190lb person:
Swimming laps, freestyle, fast, vigorous effort 863
Swimming laps, freestyle, light/moderate effort 690
Swimming, backstroke, general 690
Swimming, breaststroke, general 863
Swimming, butterfly, general 949
Swimming, leisurely, general 518
Swimming, sidestroke, general 690
However according to the self.com calculator an hour is only 633 for moderate and 995 for vigorous.
This poses a problem since I am not 190 lbs or even 200lbs or even close. Sad to admit but I am currently almost exactly 250lbs. At this weight the moderate/vigorous rate is: 833 /1310 But what the Frick beans is the difference between moderate and vigorous?
Another calculator turned out these figures 838 / 1200
It also appears that swimming one mile tends to burn 7-800 calories. Therefore I have arrived at the following formula for calculating my calories burned swimming.
Calories by Distance + Calories per hour / 2 = Magic Number
Its an ugly compromise I admit it but it will work. Consider this morning's workout. 1.5 miles in about 1.5 hours (that includes stretch time which I exclude from calculation)
1.5 miles (750 calories per mile) = 1125
1.25 hour (850 calories per hour) = 1062
And the average figure is now: 1094 rounded up to 1.1 megacalories for the day. So we add to the grand total to get...
7.1/1000 megacalories (easier to break down than just saying i am .71 % complete because that's just depressing)
Now the rules as I alluded are that I am only counting directly burned calories, not resting calories and I am not going for net or gross calories either. Going by gross calories per day it would only take 400 days (2,500 calories per day)
Going by net calories it'd be a near impossibility since a gigacalorie is close to my weight in pure fat and there are bones and muscles and organs I don't really want to part with just yet in there.
So the goal is not to drop a hundred pounds or rock out hard tasty abs or anything so grandiose and vain. Instead the goal is to improve the phenotype somewhat, get back in shape and ensure a healthy existence with the dual goals of raising the midge and surviving until the singularity (using S-words all the while)
This endeavor has made me hopeful, especially since today was such a victory. If I can smash out 1+Mc days already then multiple Megacalorie days are not too far off. I don't intend to over do it but I have been thinking of epic adventures to keep the daily grind a little more interesting.
For example if I wanted to retroactively add the Mount Whitney climb to the list it would account for something like 8.6 Megacalories. It's a 22 mile hike, what do you expect?
I for one expect great things to come. For once I do not predict catastrophic failure.
06/09/2008 - Swimming: 1.1Mc
More than one complete megacalorie today. It wasn't a super hard day it just took a little longer than usual to jam out 1100 kilo calories. Believe me I am feeling it.
I was actually a little deluded when I thought about taking some before pictures that 'It wouldn't be dramatic enough' because I have already toned up what feels like quite a bit. However some careful scrutiny revealed, after laborious observations that I am in fact quite the fat fuck I was three weeks ago when this project bubbled out of my consciousness.
No I am not going to post them just yet on the off chance that I get hit by a bus or something. No one knows my password and I don't want my parting contribution to the blogosphere to be 'hey he's fat here...and then dead...'
It's not becoming. I've also decided to multiply the scope of the project. After taking into account my age at 26 years old and running the numbers its pretty safe to conclude that I will live past age 31 barring meteors, buses and singularity.
Five years is a long time and coincidentally it synchs up my lust for epic projects with my innate human desire for good wholesome base ten numbers. So the original goal of 205 megacalories in one year, splayed out over 4 additional years becomes 1025 megacalories.
And so, after a few short weeks my goal has become crystalline. By May 1st, 2013 I intend to burn one full GIGACALORIE. (cue the ethereal music and choral 'hallelujah')
That's right. 1 thousand Megacalories is a full million food calories (enough to eat that giant floating pastry that homer ate) or a billion calories. That means if I am successful the energy I will have burned would be enough to raise the temperature of one gram of water ONE BILLION DEGREES!
And people think science isn't awesome. Punks.
To clarify I need to set some things straight so here goes.
I am only counting overt, directly burned calories during exercise that I can monitor/control to some extent. This includes readouts from the exercise machines and really despicably convoluted method of determining swimming calories. It's a real pisser trying to figure out an accurate assessment. There are so many factors to consider and I want to be close without spending forever trying to weed out errors.
Look at this nonsense for a 190lb person:
Swimming laps, freestyle, fast, vigorous effort 863
Swimming laps, freestyle, light/moderate effort 690
Swimming, backstroke, general 690
Swimming, breaststroke, general 863
Swimming, butterfly, general 949
Swimming, leisurely, general 518
Swimming, sidestroke, general 690
However according to the self.com calculator an hour is only 633 for moderate and 995 for vigorous.
This poses a problem since I am not 190 lbs or even 200lbs or even close. Sad to admit but I am currently almost exactly 250lbs. At this weight the moderate/vigorous rate is: 833 /1310 But what the Frick beans is the difference between moderate and vigorous?
Another calculator turned out these figures 838 / 1200
It also appears that swimming one mile tends to burn 7-800 calories. Therefore I have arrived at the following formula for calculating my calories burned swimming.
Calories by Distance + Calories per hour / 2 = Magic Number
Its an ugly compromise I admit it but it will work. Consider this morning's workout. 1.5 miles in about 1.5 hours (that includes stretch time which I exclude from calculation)
1.5 miles (750 calories per mile) = 1125
1.25 hour (850 calories per hour) = 1062
And the average figure is now: 1094 rounded up to 1.1 megacalories for the day. So we add to the grand total to get...
7.1/1000 megacalories (easier to break down than just saying i am .71 % complete because that's just depressing)
Now the rules as I alluded are that I am only counting directly burned calories, not resting calories and I am not going for net or gross calories either. Going by gross calories per day it would only take 400 days (2,500 calories per day)
Going by net calories it'd be a near impossibility since a gigacalorie is close to my weight in pure fat and there are bones and muscles and organs I don't really want to part with just yet in there.
So the goal is not to drop a hundred pounds or rock out hard tasty abs or anything so grandiose and vain. Instead the goal is to improve the phenotype somewhat, get back in shape and ensure a healthy existence with the dual goals of raising the midge and surviving until the singularity (using S-words all the while)
This endeavor has made me hopeful, especially since today was such a victory. If I can smash out 1+Mc days already then multiple Megacalorie days are not too far off. I don't intend to over do it but I have been thinking of epic adventures to keep the daily grind a little more interesting.
For example if I wanted to retroactively add the Mount Whitney climb to the list it would account for something like 8.6 Megacalories. It's a 22 mile hike, what do you expect?
I for one expect great things to come. For once I do not predict catastrophic failure.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Number 6, achieved!!
That's right, 6 megacalories!!
The count so far is as follows
L. Bike .5Mc
Swim .9Mc
S. Bike .6Mc
Swim .9Mc
Swim: .9Mc
L. Bike .5Mc
Ellip. .8Mc
Swim .9Mc
Not too bad, I'll post a more significant detailed explanation in the near future.
The count so far is as follows
L. Bike .5Mc
Swim .9Mc
S. Bike .6Mc
Swim .9Mc
Swim: .9Mc
L. Bike .5Mc
Ellip. .8Mc
Swim .9Mc
Not too bad, I'll post a more significant detailed explanation in the near future.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
5.2/205
That number is the number of calories burned vs my year end goal. Now I know what you're thinking. It's June, the year is almost halfway over and in order to meet that goal you'd have to burn over 1000 surplus calories everyday (and that span includes christmas AND thanksgiving and those fools close the gym that day)
It's a pisser but one is not so easily deterred. Since I didn't start in January I don't intend to END in january. Instead I hope to meet or exceed this goal by May 1st 2009 assuming I don't get hit by a bus or anything like that.
The number is the sum total of kilo calories one would need to burn 50 english pounds of good ol' adipose tissue. My calculation goes like this. One Kilogram = 1000 grams = 2.2lbs. Therefore a pound = 455 grams (rounded from 454.54) And since one gram of fat contains nine kilocalories then 455 grams = 4,095.
Multiply by 50lbs and you get 204,750. After that simply apply the comfortable human number formula and you end up with a nice round aesthetically pleasing figure of 205 megacalories.
I know what you're thinking. 205 million calories sounds comically impossible but the vernacular usage of 'calorie' is actually referring to a kilocalorie. The crucial difference being that a single calorie can raise the temp of a gram of water by one degree while a kilo calorie raises a kilogram of water one degree.
Therefore over the past two weeks after 7 discrete workouts I have racked up 5.2 megacalories. Hopefully tomorrow will round it off to an even 6.0.
Now I know this is a faulty metric and it does not reflect the true balance of intake/calories burned because I can't very well know exactly what I have burned vs eaten and I don't want it to become a numbers game. This is an effort of will, to be exerted over a long period of time and hopefully my self-project for the year will culminate in nothing more than a few less notches on the belt.
What worries me is that at my current rate, assuming swimming goes well tomorrow then I'll have accumulated 6 megs in two weeks. At the rate of only 3 megacalories a week I would only rack up 156 over a 52 week period.
Bumping up to 4 would make it just under but I am already 5 weeks into this project and I am not counting all the hiking/natural laxatives experienced in Thailand.
4.234 megacalories burned, every single week until the end of April of next year. That sounds superficially high but today I racked up .8 megs in just over an hour. If I can just quintuple that every week I'll be in great shape in no time.
I just hope the Eschaton leaves me alone.
It's a pisser but one is not so easily deterred. Since I didn't start in January I don't intend to END in january. Instead I hope to meet or exceed this goal by May 1st 2009 assuming I don't get hit by a bus or anything like that.
The number is the sum total of kilo calories one would need to burn 50 english pounds of good ol' adipose tissue. My calculation goes like this. One Kilogram = 1000 grams = 2.2lbs. Therefore a pound = 455 grams (rounded from 454.54) And since one gram of fat contains nine kilocalories then 455 grams = 4,095.
Multiply by 50lbs and you get 204,750. After that simply apply the comfortable human number formula and you end up with a nice round aesthetically pleasing figure of 205 megacalories.
I know what you're thinking. 205 million calories sounds comically impossible but the vernacular usage of 'calorie' is actually referring to a kilocalorie. The crucial difference being that a single calorie can raise the temp of a gram of water by one degree while a kilo calorie raises a kilogram of water one degree.
Therefore over the past two weeks after 7 discrete workouts I have racked up 5.2 megacalories. Hopefully tomorrow will round it off to an even 6.0.
Now I know this is a faulty metric and it does not reflect the true balance of intake/calories burned because I can't very well know exactly what I have burned vs eaten and I don't want it to become a numbers game. This is an effort of will, to be exerted over a long period of time and hopefully my self-project for the year will culminate in nothing more than a few less notches on the belt.
What worries me is that at my current rate, assuming swimming goes well tomorrow then I'll have accumulated 6 megs in two weeks. At the rate of only 3 megacalories a week I would only rack up 156 over a 52 week period.
Bumping up to 4 would make it just under but I am already 5 weeks into this project and I am not counting all the hiking/natural laxatives experienced in Thailand.
4.234 megacalories burned, every single week until the end of April of next year. That sounds superficially high but today I racked up .8 megs in just over an hour. If I can just quintuple that every week I'll be in great shape in no time.
I just hope the Eschaton leaves me alone.
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